If we are to move from being ego-centered to God-centered, we must cross a great chasm. This leap of faith entails the risk of leaving our secure zone, based upon the promise of something better.
There is a point in this process when we feel like we are suspended in space. We know that the old answers no longer suffice. We have left all that. But we have not yet had an experience of the greater life that awaits us. This is a time for raw, naked faith. We have to trust. What other alternative is there?
As I look back over my life, now at 72 years of age, much of it runs together like a blur. But one period of my life, the summer of 1976, stands frozen in my memory. I can remember almost every day of it. I can remember all of the significant people I met and many of the actual conversations.
That was the summer of my spiritual rebirth. Before then, I had operated in life based upon one level of consciousness, that of the ego. When I emerged, the old separate self was “dead”. But during that summer, I was held suspended in space, neither ego-centered nor God-centered. It was the most frightening experience of my life. It was like jumping across a creek and trusting that we will make it to the other side. The difference in the analogy, however, is that everything is at stake when we let go of ego being in control and jump into the hands of Higher Power.
This makes the moment of our leap from ego a point of no return. We realize that our very identity is at stake. We fear madness and meaninglessness, but, at this point, we may be hurting enough to take the plunge.
The wise ones who have gone before us tell us to trust and that all will be well. But we have this desperate fear that we will be the first exception to the rule. Others may have found life in abundance, we are told, but our deepest fear is that we shall end up in psychosis.
Given the stakes, is it any wonder that so few are willing to take the plunge? When we are living ego-centered lives, of course we are not free or joyful, but at least we know the territory. We choose safety over the promise of the unknown. We contemplate the odds and we decide to play it safe. We prefer security to a journey.
Those who take the risk and leap across the chasm will never regret their decision. They will not be able to imagine ever living according to the old state of consciousness. But they will never forget the terror of living suspended in space. However, they will never regret the decision either.
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