Granted, no two marriages (straight or gay) are exactly the same. However, researchers at Austin Peay University have come up with some interesting patterns that we can all recognize. Let us take a look at them, along with their Greek names, one at a time.
- STORGE (Friendship)- Here, the couple may be sexual lovers, but they look upon their relationship as being primarily one of friendship. Even if, for some reason, sex were not possible, the two would not skip a beat in their relationship. Their partner is their best friend.
- AGAPE (Giving)- This type of relationship is founded on “God”. Each serves the other; each sees “God” in one another. There is relatively little conflict in such relationships.
- MANIA (Possessive)- One or both parties look upon each other as their property The two spend lots of time together and frequently resent their mate having other relationships, even with members of the same sex. A man may be upset that someone looks flirtatiously at his spouse in the mall. A woman may have sleepless nights because her husband has a female business partner.
- PRAGMA (Shopping List)- With a typically American pragmatic approach, a partner is chosen because they measure up to a shopping list of desired qualities. Forget Cupid. Here, one is looking not for romance, but for compatibility. This approach is dramatized by the phenomenon of dating services. A couple is often matched by a computer because each has certain common goals.
5.LUDUS (Game Playing)- Commitment is the issue here. Late to marry, each is dedicated to playing the game of love. Open marriages may be a possibility, as would be “swinging.”
- EROS (Ideal Type)- Each is not really committed to a person, but to an ideal. Sex drives this sort of relationship. Such relationships can be very powerful for as long as they last. But what happens to each as they age? Because the body is no longer the same, is the relationship over? It is with some people. Trophy Wives would be a perfect example.
The survey also revealed some other interesting conclusions. A woman’s happiness seemed to have relatively little to do with the man she married, unless he was abusive in some way. Men, however, were most happy being married to the agape women, while, surprise, surprise, the mania types gave them the most aggravation. Agape– type women were, incidentally, the happiest themselves.
Also, demonstrating that Allah is indeed merciful, mania, ludus, and eros types were often attracted to one another and were generally as happy as clams. Until they were not.
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